What I did Today

I was recently asked what it is I do all day. Apparently “yes” was a rude (but intentionally so) response. The following is a “normal” schedule of my day.

5:30 AM – Sweet Jesus. Is it time to awake already?

5:45 – I. Must. Get. Up. 

6:00 – ok. I’m up.

6:01 – begin to consume all the coffee. 

6:15- I have 30ish minutes of silence. 

6:30 – turning lights on for minions.

6:46 – dragging covers off grouchy non-morning personality minions. 

7:00 – you mean you want breakfast? Why are you wearing two different shoes? What do you mean you have homework? 

7:30 – need to be leaving for school. 

7:42 – “if we don’t leave right now you will be late! What’s our saying? NEVER BE LATE AGAIN!!!”

7:58 -Drop off complete. 

Return to the wreckage. Wonder if I got robbed but no, just my herd of children. Sweep the floor. Do the dishes. Make the beds. Pick up the toys. Start laundry. Remind myself how much I hate laundry. Wonder how I got screwed out of a Disney prince AND happy singing and cleaning woodland animals. Mop the floors. 

10:00 – start writing. Building. Reading. Think I should get back to running. Laugh. Tell the dog to stop barking. Wonder if it’s legal to shoot squirrels in my backyard so my dog will shut up. Decide probably not. Answer emails. 

1:30 – throw the ball or the stick, whatever the mutt will go get and actually bring back today. 

2:00 more writing and Pinterest. Writing. Building. Creating. Prepare for the invasion. More cleaning. 

Return home with minions. 

4:00 -sweet Jesus! Do they chain them to desks and spoon feed them sugar all day!!! I will never be a teacher. How do they control so. Much. Energy ALL DAY LONG. Say things like “Where did my “—-” go?” “Yea?” “No!” “Stop fighting!” “She did what!!!” “Do you have homework?” “Why are you screaming?” “Why am I screaming?” “The neighborhood probably thinks I’m/ we are nuts.” Yell at the dog, wish I had removed the squirrel. Make a snack. “How much tv is to much tv?”

5:30 What are we having for supper! Hmmm time to get creative. 

6:30 – I know it looks weird, just eat it. It’s good…. probably. 

Bathe minions. Fold laundry. 

8:30 – say prayers, put minions in bed. Read 14,000 stories. Talk about their days. Relish the moments. 

10:00 – silence. 

10:30 – I must use the sleep.

10:45 – WHY CAN’T I SLEEP!?!?!

11:00 – more writing. Reading. Cleaning. Crap, Elf didn’t move. 

11:30 – bed. Just bed. 

11:45 – I should….. Zzzzzzzzzzzz. 

Sure. I left out somethings but that’s the jist of my day. In there I also draw pictures, chase the dog or a kid depending on the day. I answer the phone. Depending on cows, kids, clients and events the schedule also varies a little. So the next time somebody answers “yes” to the inconsiderate question, “what do you do all day?”, don’t get mad. Instead be grateful they don’t hand you a list or recruit your help.

This was written in truthful fun. Hope you enjoyed reading. 

Merry Christmas, 



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