I love music. Feeling a connection to a song can completely change my day, for better or worse. Today I heard “Dear Younger Me” – MercyMe. I LOVE it. This song touched a place in my heart that I’ve been known to try to keep shoved down deep and go about my day; it made me think. What would I tell a younger me? If I could time travel, what do I have to offer that bright blue eyed skinny girl (legit skinny. I was GORGEOUS.)? To hit harder to home my class reunion was a few weeks ago. Would I tell younger me about those? I present to you, my letter, to a younger me.
When I started writing this, I started telling myself everything I would change. To fix. But I just realized that no. I can’t do that. Because everything, everyone, every choice… has lead me here. While its not ideal. It’s where I am…. If I took out parts and changed others, even slightly then who knows. Maybe the best parts of my world and my hopes for the future wouldn’t be happening… So this is my revised (and improved) letter.
It’s 29 year old you… well me… but that’s probably confusing so I just want to take a minute of your time. This letter is to tell you about your life now.
I would tell you the things you should stop/start doing… like yesterday. I would tell you who you need to stop talking to, immediately. The people you do need to seek out so you can love them longer. The thing about that is, I know you. You’re stubborn. Full of stubborn stupid pride and you won’t listen. So instead I will tell you just a little about life now. Are you ready?
Plot twist #1: those deep green eyes and curly red hair? Savor every moment. Nothing lasts forever, baby girl. Take the dog with you leave.
Plot twist #2: College sucks. Going to work sucks more. But GOOD friends don’t. Recognize the friends that love you. Cherish them. Let the ones that don’t leave. You’re a smart girl, you already know the answers.
Plot twist #3: you have your own family. SAY WHAT!?!! Yeah, I know. It’s insane, crazy busy. You’re life doesn’t look like a storybook. Hold on for the ride.
Plot twist #4: Where the he(ck) did all these cows come from? Why is everything covered in mud?
Plot twist #5: Cowdog Creations. Go ahead, patent that. You’ll need it.
Plot twist #6: ok… you still haven’t been to ocean. Sorry about that, you’ve been a little busy. Go before you’re 30. K? K. Good talk.
Plot twist #7: There’s a man that your heart cherishes… hug him. Oh Lord. Hug that stubborn old man. Beg… Beg for five more minutes. Everyday. Because nothing lasts forever baby girl.
Plot twist #8: You’re going to make a friend. You’ll be 25 or so. You’ll know when you meet her that she needs you. You’re going to need her too. You and her? Like peas and carrots my dear. She’s going to be an amazing part of your story.
Plot twist #9: You are going to go through something that can lonely be described as… Hard. Overwhelming so. Ever ounce of you is going to be tested. But you survive. I know you will survive. On the other side you’re going to find out some things… Your family? Baby girl. They’d go to the moon and back for you. They would risk their lives and move mountains for you. Your friends? Most of them leave. The best ones don’t. Better, stronger and healthier bonds are made. You’re going to feel lost and alone. But when the smoke clears you find that sometimes fields have to burn for growth to happen.
My closing advice to you is this. I know your secrets. I understand why. It’s ok. At 29 there’s parts of you that you still don’t understand. It’s ok. You are big, brave, smart, strong and absolutely beautiful. Please learn this.
Most importantly. You serve only one. You were put here, in these moments, to serve the Most High God. You are His. Lean on him, get lost in his word. Seek relationships and people that chase Him. They won’t steer you wrong. It’s going to take your pride awhile to realize this, it’s ok. This is a story only you can live.. A testimony only you can have.
So what’s next, you ask? What happens in my 29th year? Even I don’t know, you’ll have to stick around and see. 😉